Dreams As Therapy

I continue to have dreams that contain one key player from my past. I tell myself that this is a "purging" of my brain and soul, preparing myself for a clean slate and the arrival of the most important person I will ever meet.

Slowly but surely, the dreams have evolved from brutally graphic and horrifying to...well...simple and healing, maybe?

Last night I listened to him. He calmly told me what happened. I understood. I explained my side. He "got it."

Sometimes when there are no answers in "real" life, you have to make up your own while dreaming.

I also don't recommend quitting therapy after 7 sessions because you don't want to deal with what's happening.

I also don't recommend jumping into a horribly toxic relationship at your first chance.

I do recommend taking 2 years to be by yourself so you can meet a Beau-like someone.

I'm ready for the dreams to go away now. I will never get an answer. I will never get that phone call. I will never hear why. I will never get an apology.

But, in my dream last night I did...and, I suppose that will have to be enough.

The Letting Go...maybe this act of the play can be close to over now, and I can quit holding that pain so close in the back of my mind.

Besides...someone is coming. Someone who puts all of my past to shame. Someone that makes all of that look like a horribly written and directed community theater production.

Horribly written and directed community theater productions are funny.

I will learn to laugh at the audacity of this key player. The audacity that he thought he could be the one to put on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" while simultaneously playing every role.

No, no, no. He could never pull off George. George is too funny.

And, by the way...this new little person on it's way...

they don't need to put on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

...they are Virginia Woolf...

hopefully without the whole rocks-in-pockets-in-river aspect.