Apparently, all you need is a beer, and you can come up with some (hopefully) interesting things to say. I only have 23 minutes to type this blog because, sadly, I am addicted to not one, but THREE Real Housewives shows (NYC, Bethenny's spin-off, and New Jersey), and New Jersey is about to come on. I can't believe I just admitted that to the world. Let's never speak of it again, okay? Okay.
So, when I can't think of anything to write, I usually make lists. Here we go!
1. I will never re-create my now defunct Facebook account, so everyone who is asking me to "get back on" will just have to live in their own little hopeful world. And, then they can take that glimmer of hope and watch me squish it. I think an 80 year-old woman that my cousin Lindsey heard on NPR put it best when she said, "That sounds like an incredible waste of time." Yes, 80 year-old woman NOT on Facebook...it IS an incredible waste of time. So is watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
2. Everything in my life is being recalled. My dishwasher. Some random part of my car? I have no clue what part it is, but I got a letter about it, and it needs to be fixed. I'm ignoring the letter at the current moment. Beau was right. I should've gotten the BMW station wagon. Damn you, feeling-of-not-wanting-to-drive-a-station-wagon-and-be-a-mom-type-person-who-drives-a-station-wagon! Now, I sit sadly while Beau speeds around in his little BMW (not a station wagon), and my cute compact SUV gets recalled. I don't even want to discuss the dishwasher.
3. I would like to thank Grey Matthew Adams for being the prettiest boy this side of the MIssissippi. Yes, people mistake you for a girl on a weekly basis, (even while wearing blue) but I PROMISE your good looks will work out for you in the end. Damn those eye lashes!
4. I'm pretty positive that the producers who find people to go on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" find people that have absolutely no chance of winning the million dollars. Today someone used a lifeline on the first question. I am tired of yelling at the contestants. I shall either:
a. Go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire (or)
b. Stop watching
p.s. Neither of those two things will happen, and I will continue to be completely annoyed with every contestant on the show. By the way, contestant today...Lennie. The answer was Lennie. The guy in "Of Mice and Men" is named Lennie. There. Don't use your lifeline. Just ask me next time. Also..."Expert Used for the Ask An Expert Section": The answer was...the Grammys. The Junos in Canada are what the GRAMMYS are to America. Way to be the "expert" and tell the girl the wrong answer.
5. Louis C.K.'s new show is pretty effing great.
6. Yes, I have mentioned 12 different TV shows in this blog. Can't. Stop. Watching. TV. In. The. Background. Of. Raising. My. Child.
7. My Corona Light sits half empty on the table to my right. Some would say it's half full. It's not. When you want more of something, the sadness grows as it dwindles. Therefore, it's half empty.
8. I have no class when it comes to red wine, anymore. I swear it's been over 100 degrees in Tulsa for the past two weeks. Therefore, red wine is to be chilled. Then, when you consume it on the porch after your 6-month old finally falls asleep, it is dubbed, "Cold, cold wine."
Example:
"I'd like some cold, cold wine now that my child is asleep."
"Oh, you mean white wine?"
"No. I hate white wine with a passion."
"Well, red isn't supposed to be chilled."
"Eff off. It's 500 degrees outside."
And, that's how you get yourself a glass of cold, cold wine, my friends.
9. My father-in-law continues to dash any hopes of OSU football being any good this year. I hope to God he's wrong. I know he's not. I'm ignoring his talk radio show for now.
10. New Jersey is on. Unfortunately, the New Jersey Housewives take precedent over everything ever created at this given time.
Good night.
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Red wine can actually be served too warm. So you aren't entirely classless.
ReplyDeleteI read this with a smile on my face, a twinkle in my eye and a curl in my hair. What? #7 gave me a jolly chuckle. It all did, really, but mostly #7. Thhhhhhhanks.
ReplyDeleteI used to check your blog every day. But I couldn't handle the disappointment of no new blogs. But that disappointment is washed away with euphoria when I happen to click on your blog and WHAMMO, new blog. Yeah Cari! I find your writing to be genius.
ReplyDeleteWho Wants to be a Millionaire drives me crazy too. And I can't tell you how many times I've yelled, "Just call me, I know the answer!" I tried to try out when we went to New York last month, but they weren't filming. Boo.
Facebook is stupid and a waste of time. I think that every time I check it.
Grey Matthew is growing up too fast, and it will be at the speed of light very soon now, so ignore the rapidity of it and just focus on Grey. You can't have any effect on how quickly he matures or how soon he will become embarrassed to be kissed in public by his mom, or any of those negative inevitable landmarks that we all grow through. You can only revel in the moments of him that are happening right now. Give yourself to your relationship and let him be full of Cari so that being Grey will be the coolest, and the most interesting thing in Life. I remember the times I stood back to watch my kids grow or held my marriage at arms length. Looking back on those few forced moments seems like sad little blips now that would have been time better spent staying lost in my kids lives with them, or sharing anything at all with my life partner. It might be a pothole that intelligent people have to occasionally navigate around, I don't know for sure, but I do know that you are experiencing the best times of your life and that's what makes reading your blog (and sending you emails to encourage you to write) so damn worthwhile. People just want to be a part of something that is being celebrated, especially if it's you, and especially if it's you and Beau and Grey, in the honest light of day ...so.... gather the cyberhugs your fan base has for you and then throw yourself back into it so the rest of us can ride your blog into a corner of heaven as you giggle and dance and share your next revelation, your intimate insight in that voodoo way that you do so well.
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