Some Random Stuff That People Should Read

1. I have an irrational fear of "crunches" now. My lower back is killing me, and I know that if I bring my abdominal muscles back to their glory days of at least 200 crunches a day, this will be fixed. I cannot bring myself to even try to do 20. I blame my ruptured C-section incision for this. Crazy as it sounds...I just don't want to see my intestines again. Once was enough. Actually, once was too many times. No one should see their own intestines coming out of their mid-section. Ever. Maybe I'll try a "quiet movement forward" tomorrow as I'm horizontal. That's what I'll call it. A "quiet movement forward." See? I'm not doing a "crunch."

2. I think I have some diminished form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I tear up every time an ambulance whizzes past me. It all comes rushing back. This too shall pass.

3. Beau has used the term "double duty" too many times this week. Is he 62? No. Does he use terms on a daily basis that a 62-year-old would say? Yes. Did Granddad actually say "double duty" on the radio today to prove my point that only 62-year-old men say that phrase? Yes. There is no need to describe things as "going double duty," "using double-duty," or "having double-duty." I get it. Two things are happening at once, or you're having to do two things at once. Just say that. :)

4. Grey is completely obsessed with "Super Why" on PBS. I "Super Don't Know Why" he is. He's only 7 months old. He smiles, stares, "talks," and squeals when "Super Why" comes on. I have a theory that is based on the large eyes of the characters. It has to be that. No other television show has this effect on him.

5. Um...Beerminton is the best family event to ever exist on the face of the planet. Combining the consumption of beer, along with playing Badminton...best. family. get-together. idea. EVER. Where else can you see a high school librarian give her entire family the finger? Or see an otherwise sensitive and loving English Professor show absolutely no mercy to his baby sister during the semi-finals? Nowhere else. Just Beerminton. It just keeps getting better every year.

6. I'm pretty amazed with how close my entire extended family is. And, it's a huge family. And we all love each other. It's quite beautiful, really.

7. One can never have too many "girl-fitting" OSU jersey/shirts.

8. The laundry will never get done.

9. Tonight I hacked into my mom's Facebook account (with her permission, of course) and perused family photos and such. It was enlightening. I learned that people are throwing baby kittens from cars in OKC, my uncle is a gifted poet, Lindsey had a great time salsa dancing the other night, Abbey is backing up her phone (so you should just use G-Chat while she's doing that), Shelley likes some picture of some hot guy that I don't know, and Teresa was listening to Leonard Cohen while drinking coffee earlier. DAMN YOU, FACEBOOK! I want to know these things and NOT have an account! How can I accomplish this? I feel as if I may need to just have people send their updates to my personal email account.

10. I would like to thank the boy that I made for helping me lose all of the baby weight PLUS 12 more pounds. Here's how he did it:

a. He sucks the life-force out of me, daily.

b. Breastfeeding (it's different than sucking the life-force out of me, daily)

c. He literally NEVER stops moving while awake. This makes ME constantly move, too. Thanks. Thanks a whole lot.

d. He requires 1-2 walks per day. When I say "requires," I mean it. You don't want to see what happens when he doesn't get to go on a walk.

e. He was born. That makes me need to stay alive. So I eat lots of vegetables.

11. I have no concept of how Fantasy Football works. Beau has tried to explain it to me, and I'm really quite interested, but I find myself just kind of staring off into the distance when the explanation comes. Much like when my father tried to teach me to change a tire 3 times in one summer. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. It's like how telephones work. Who knows? Who cares? They just work, and that's A-OK with me.

12. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever wake up feeling "refreshed" again.

13. Lindsey and I are going to have a drink on Friday night (without children, of course) for the first time in...hell...years? If we don't bring up our children in conversation, we get a special prize. The special prize? Knowing that we can have a conversation and not bring up our children. It's never happened before. Because of the children. In the background. Always interrupting.

14. If I could make one thing happen in this crazy ol' life of mine (sick), I would somehow make it possible for my mom to retire YESTERDAY. Seriously...I am constantly thinking of ways that I could make this happen. She deserves it more than anyone I know.

15. I miss singing for adults. Today, I played the piano and sang Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" for Grey. He stopped moving (okay, so he stops moving when I'm singing...sorry) for the 2 1/2 minutes that the song lasted, and then gave a little smile and then went back to moving. It was incredibly weird to be singing a song in my "real" voice instead of my usual "mommy-sing-songy" voice. But, he loved it. He also loves "Rainbow Connection" more than sweet potatoes. (He loves sweet potatoes a LOT.)

16. I fall asleep while taking baths on a weekly basis. I'll wake up, and it's 1:15a.m. My baths start at about 11:30p.m. (when I actually get to take one). This means that I have been sleeping in my own, watery filth for an hour and 45 minutes. There's something inherently wrong with sleeping in water.

17. I attended a wedding of a good friend last Saturday. I went by myself. It was weird to be by myself. Just driving along...by myself. Sitting at the wedding...by myself. Driving home...by myself. I had forgotten what that felt like. It was nice.

18. There's a scene in "Date Night" with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell that had to have been literally taken straight from a conversation Beau and I have had on more than one occasion. In fact, when the scene was playing, the Twilight Zone music should've been playing in the background.

Steve (Beau): Do you ever think about leaving me for someone else?

Tina (Cari): No. Never. Not once.

Steve (Beau): Really? Never?

Tina (Cari): Never. If I ever dream of anything like that, it's more like...wishing I could go be by myself. Like, get a hotel room and have even one, uninterrupted thought with no one touching me.

Steve (Beau): That sounds awful.

19. Okay, clouds! I said we needed "rain," not a monsoon.

20. The act of loving someone is so incredibly large (if you truly do love them). And wounds are so incredibly able to be healed (if you truly want to heal them). And some big ones were healed this week. And some little ones.

So...if wounds develop scars and scars then slightly fade (but still give you a little reminder of what to look out for/what happened in the past) and everything is able to be put back together again (in a new and improved array with "75% more knowledge this time!"), then maybe...just maybe...

I could try a "crunch" or two, after all.